


Target

by Dollface_AnonymousAngel



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:42:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dollface_AnonymousAngel/pseuds/Dollface_AnonymousAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically this long-ish type story that I posted to Wattpad and have decided to move because I'm strange.</p><p>Bucky BarnesxOC, probably slight AU but yeah...</p><p>I'm new to this someone help ;-;</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is literally the one story I've ever actually finished and it probably sucks but yeah, here goes nothing?
> 
> Oh and you can read the original version with all my awkward notes and crap here: http://www.wattpad.com/story/15017237-target-winter-solider-bucky-barnes-short-story

Prolouge~ 

The sound of steady breathing filled my ears, as did an annoying beeping noise. I blinked a couple times, trying to focus on something. Anything.

I'm in a hospital room, hooked up to a heartbeat monitor- aren't those called EKG's? There's someone in the corner. That someone is a man. He's wearing a hooded sweatshirt, the sleeves are pulled down over his hands.

He's awake, but blankly staring at the wall.

I let my attention wander, finding myself staring at my wrist- at the wristband on my wrist. Written on it in messy script is the name Alexandra Sterling.

Is that me? Am I Alexandra Sterling?

"Is she awake yet?" A voice asks. I look up at the doorway.

"I don't know." The man replies. I frown.

"Hello." I say quietly.

"Alex!" The man says, jumping up. "You're alive."

_Yeah, no thanks to you_

Where the thought came from, I've no idea- but it scared me.

_~_

_"Who are you?"_

_"Your killer."_

_"Ki- you were sent to kill me? Why? I didn't do anything!"_

_"You're a threat. You must be taken out."_

_"You don't sound like you believe that."_

_"I- You don't know what-"_

 

_"To love her- it'd be selfish of me. I've caused her so much pain and loss that loving her is completely selfish of me."_

_"What if she loves you back?"_

_"How could she love me? I'm a monster."_

_"She loves you back."_

_"How do you know that?"  
_

_"I- she-she told me..."_

* * *

 

Chapter 1

 

A file dropped onto the table in front of me. I sighed and looked up at my teacher, wondering what he needed me to do now.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Detention, tomorrow after school. You'll be filing papers," I was told. I grimaced. Detention, again.

"Yes sir," I muttered, just as the bell rang. I picked my bag up off the floor and slid out of my chair.

"Remember, after school tomorrow!" My teacher yelled as I left the room. I help a thumbs up.

"After school tomorrow, got it," I called. Like I'd remember a detention.

I should rewind a bit, maybe introduce myself.

_My name is Alexandra Marie Sterling. I'm an eighteen year old problem child, yet one of the best students in my grade. I'm a senior in highschool in case any of you readers were interested. Which you probably aren't. It's typical for me to be in detention at least once every week, usually for something I didn't do but nobody else would take the blame so I was considered the culprit._

_Don't get me wrong, I love taking the blame for other people. I'm a scape goat. It's easy to blame me, because I don't argue back. And yes, I tend to be at fault for some of the things I end up in detention for but who doesn't do stupid stuff every once in a while?_

"HEADS!" A voice yelled, bringing me out of my thoughts. I jumped to the side, avoiding being hit by a skateboarder. "Sorry Alex! Didn't see you there."

Yeah, sure you didn't. The skateboarder in question happens to be my best friend Eli. I call him Ellie to annoy him.

"Yeah, yeah Ellie, I know you didn't. Because I'm in dark colors, right?" I asked jokingly. Eli made a face.

"Yeah, don't call me Ellie," he said.

"I'm not walking home right after school tomorrow," I told him, "Rogers gave me a detention again."

"Again? What for?" Eli asked, frowning. I shrugged.

"Dunno, but I'm filing papers to make up for it."

"Have you ever noticed how scary similar Mr. Rogers and Captain America look?" Eli asked out of nowhere. I laughed.

"Actually, yes. Wouldn't it be strange if our History teacher was Captain America?" I asked.

"Wouldn't you be able to tell?" Eli asked in a hushed tone. "I mean with your-..."

"Watch it Elijah Joseph," I warned him, "We don't talk about that. Remember?" Eli nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember. But still, wouldn't you be able to tell?"

I shook my head. "No. Not unless he wanted to hurt me."

I should explain. But I won't. Because it's supposed to be a secret.

Granted, Eli figured it out fairly quickly...

No, no. I'm still not telling.

"Hey, someone's staring." Eli told me. I looked up and looked around, not seeing anyone.

"Who?" I asked.

"That guy. Right there." He said, moving my head so I could see who he was talking about. All I saw was a flash of silver, then nothing.

"I don't see anyone..." I said.

"I could've sworn someone was standing there......" Eli mumbled, frowning. "He had long-ish hair. Like... shorter than mine but longer than Jace's. And was wearing a mask. And now that I think about it I think he was wearing goggles."

Like I'm supposed to know anyone that looks like that.

"Okay. Cool. I'm gonna go home now and do homework." I said before I walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, detention sucks. I've been sitting here for three hours! What Eli told me yesterday is still stuck in my mind. Mr. Rogers looks scary similar to Captain America.

And me, being me, decided to bring it up.

"Hey, Mr. Rogers, has anyone told you that you look like Captain America?" I asked. I was still filing papers.

"Yes." He answered without hesitating. "I told them they were seeing things."

"No way!" I exclaimed, surprised by his words. "Seriously though, you look like Captain America."

Mr. Rogers laughed. "No I don't Alexandra."

I made a face. "Alex. Call me Alex. Not Alexandra. And yes, you do." I pulled out my phone and pulled up a picture of Captain America then showed it to Mr. Rogers.

"See?"

He shook his head. "Alex, you're seeing things. I don't look like Captain America."

I shrieked in frustration. "I'm an eighteen year old woman capable of making accurate comparisons! You look like Captain America! And the guy that followed me after school yesterday looked kinda like Bucky Barnes but I couldn't really tell because I was freaking out."

"Wait, what? Back up, somebody followed you home?" Mr. Rogers asked. "Why didn't you call the police?"

"I wasn't worried about it. I know self defense, I could've taken him." I said casually. "And he didn't follow me the entire way. Only a couple blocks." And anyways, I would have known if he wanted to hurt me.

After all, I can sense ill intentions directed at me.

I mean... what?

"Alex, you can leave now." Mr. Rogers said. I jumped up and lunged for my bag.

"Thanks Mr. Rogers! See ya tomo- see ya Monday!" I shouted, running from the room.

That man, the man from yesterday, was watching again. I waved at him, trying to be friendly, but kept walking. I hoped my mom wasn't home.

My head started hurting. Not like an 'ouch' pain... more of a slow, burning pain. This, this feeling right there, that's how I know someone has ill intentions directed at me. I looked around, seeing only the man with the metal arm, and started running.

A hand clamped down on my shoulder, yanking me backwards. I let out a terrified scream and threw my arms out- knocking down the person holding my shoulder. I heard a few clicks, almost like gears turning, and suddenly I was on the ground and the man with the metal arm was standing above me.

He had on goggles and a mask, leaving him virtually indistinguishable. His hair was indeed longer than Jace's hair but shorter than Eli's hair.

Reacting quickly, I jerked my leg up and hit him where it counts then slid away and stood up. I didn't look back, I ran. I ran like hell.

"Get her!" A voice growled. I assumed this voice belonged to the man with the metal arm. I ran faster, pushing myself to my absolute limit.

I was too far from my house to safely get away. But after a quick glance at a street sign I knew I was close enough to Eli's. I kept running, still refusing to look back, and sprinted up a set of stairs that led to a red door on a blue house with a welcome mat just in front of the door.

"Eli!" I screamed. "Eli open the door!"

The red door flung open and I was pulled into the house.

"What the hell?" Eli demanded. "Why, WHY were you being followed?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I shrieked. "I WAS WALKING HOME!"

A sharp, loud- almost thundering knock echoed through the empty hall. I jumped and hid behind Eli.

"Don't answer the door. Don't." I pleaded. "Eli, please don't answer the fucking door!"

He ignored me and opened the door a tiny bit.

"Alexandra Elizabeth Sterling, why the hell is Captain America on the steps?" Eli asked, turning towards me. I stared at him.

"What?"

"Where's the girl that was running?" A very manly voice asked. I hesitantly stepped into view.

"Do you live here?" The voice, belonging to Captain freaking America, asked. I shook my head.

"I live six blocks away." I mumbled. "I just needed to be safe. Eli's hose was the closest safe place I knew of."

"Eli? Is he the kid that answered the door?" Captain America asked. I nodded.

"Hey! I'm nineteen years old! I'm not a kid!" Eli said defensively. "I'm old enough to enlist in the army."

"I need to get home." I whispered. "My parents will be home soon. If I'm not there-"

"I'll walk you there." Captain America interrupted. "So you're safe."

"I- I-... okay. Okay. Yeah, that... that... yeah." I said. nodding. Eli wrapped his arms around me and I screamed and threw my arms around again, knocking both Captain America and Eli over.

"Shoot! I'm sorry! I- I- I-" I stammered, covering my face with my hands. "I'm sorry."

"No worries Alex. We're fine." Eli groaned. "Just, no more forcing us down."

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry." I repeated, helping him up. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around me again.

"Don't worry about it. Stay safe, all right? Call me when you get home." He mumbled. I nodded.

"Yeah. I will. I promise." I said, pulling away from the hug. I turned and looked at the now Standing Captain.

"I guess I'm ready to leave."

He nodded. "Then lets go."

I sighed quietly and stepped out of the comfortable, safe blue house. I scanned the area, looking for the telltale flash of silver.

"He's not out here." Captain said.

"Who is he?" I asked. Captain left the question unanswered and started walking. I had to run a little to catch up to him.

"Can you at least tell me why he attacked me?" I asked.

"He's an assassin." Captain told me. "And you're his target."


	3. Chapter 3

This revelation had me floored. Almost literally.

"I'm an assassin's target!?" I shrieked, my voice rising three octaves. "W-wha-what?! I never do anything! I literally go to school, hang with Ellie, and bum around at home. That's it."

"I'm assuming it has something with you being able to push people down without touching them." Captain said. I made a face.

"Okay, so I can telekinetically push people down. And I can sense if someone's planning on harming me. And some other stuff I'm not telling you about. Big deal! I mean if anything it's just helping me sur- run." I hissed the last word, seeing a flash of silver again. Without waiting for Captain to respond I started sprinting, trying to get home before anyone or anything could hurt me. That slow, burning pain in the back of my neck returned.

_Target. I'm his target. He is supposed to kill me_

Cool metal met the back of my neck and an arm wrapped around my arms, pressing them against my torso and prohibiting any form of movement.

I screamed as loud as I could manage and forced my hands up a little. It was enough to push me free so I could run again, but instead of running I turned around to confront the man with the metal arm. My grey eyes met his dark blue ones.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm the Winter Soldier." He answered with a slight Russian accent. "You're my target, Alexandra Sterling."

"Alex. If you're going to kill me, you should know I prefer to be called Alex." I corrected.  _Alexandra Elizabeth Sterling what the hell do you think you're doing? He's going to_ kill  _you! Run you idiot! Run!_

My eyes widened in realization and I scuttled back, trying to get away. A metal hand wrapped around my right arm. Without thinking it through I smacked the Winter Soldier's chest, pushing him away. Immediately I regretted my action because he was still holding my arm, which meant as he was forced back my arm was pulled. Hard.

A loud, painful pop echoed through the area and I let out cry of pain. There was a metallic clang and my arm was freed. I ran to my house and locked the door behind me.

A sickening smell hit me and I spun around and let out a blood curdling scream.

"Mommy!"

Lying there, on the ground in a pool of her own blood, was my mother. I knelt next to her.

"Mommy!" I sobbed. "Please!"

There was no response. I frantically felt for her pulse and found nothing.

My mother, the woman who raised me all my life without the help of my father, was dead.

And I knew who her killer was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea if I used revelation right but so far nobody has corrected me, but please if I didn't, LET ME KNOW


	4. Chapter 4

Three days, five hours, twelve minutes, thirty four seconds.

That's how long I'd been waiting to be released from the emergency room at the hospital.

Four days, seven hours, nine minutes, two seconds.

That's how long it'd been since I ended up in the hospital because someone ambushed me after I found my mother laying in a pool of her own blood.

I went into the emergency room covered in blood, sweat, tears, and dirt. I had bruises, three fractured fingers, my throat was raw from screaming, and my hair had been cut from it's once waist length to just below my ears with kitchen scissors. Since then someone had fixed my haircut, cleaned me up, and fed me at least once.

That someone happened to be my teacher, Mr. Rogers. Who I now knew was indeed, Captain America.

Eli would be thrilled if he were allowed to know.

As it turns out, Captain America a.k.a. Mr. Rogers a.k.a. Steve, worked for a government agency called S.H.I.E.L.D.

S.H.I.E.L.D. stood for Strategic Homeland Intervention Enforcement and Logistics Division. It was run by a supposedly dead man named Nick Fury, a.k.a. Director Fury. The second in command was Agent Maria Hill.

The Winter Soldier was still after me. I couldn't do anything about it because I was refusing to join S.H.I.E.L.D.

However, Steve... er... Mr. Rogers had somehow convinced the hospital he was my legal guardian, then produced falsified papers that said so when I asked him about it.

Eli's gone insane, he texted me so much that I threw my phone at the wall.

Okay, no... I got mad at Mr. Rogers and threw my phone at him which he skillfully blocked and accidentally broke. Not that I care. Eli's the only person that'll call or text me. Mr. Rogers said he'd buy me a new one but I refused to let him and told him not to worry about it because my contract was almost up and I wasn't planning on renewing it or getting a new phone. Honestly, he just saved me the time of going down to my phone company and giving them the phone back.

Currently, I was supposed to be sleeping. Really, I was staring at the ceiling and trying to fall asleep. But the image of my mom... it was burned into my brain, appearing every time my eyes closed even if it were for the most minute reason such as blinking.

It terrified me. It made me want to cry. It made me want to join my mother.

But I promised not to. And the hospital had me on suicide watch because I just lost the one woman who provided care for me since birth.

I was torn out of my thoughts, almost literally, when something flung itself against the window of the room I was in.

The back of my neck wasn't burning so I mustn't have been in danger but good grief was I scared out of my mind!

I looked over at the window, out at the darkness of morning before dawn, trying to see what had scared me. I couldn't see anything so I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and got up, eternally grateful to Mr. Rogers for bringing me a pair of pajamas to wear instead of those God awful hospital gowns. I moved as close to the window as I could manage and cautiously peered out into the still sleeping neighborhood.

A few yards away stood the one friend I have, Elijah Joseph Campbell. He waved enthusiastically at me and I rolled my eyes. He then held up his phone and drew a question mark in the air, trying to ask why I wasn't answering his calls. I silently thanked my mom for making me learn how to finger-spell, which I still wasn't very good at, and finger-spelled 'I broke my phone'. Eli made a face and walked closer then motioned for me to open the window. I gave him a blank look and pointed to the lack of a ledge that should separate the two glass panes which would mean I was able to open the window. He made a face then walked out of sight.

"Oh Eli..." I sighed, going back to the bed. As I sat down I noticed something was different. The chair in the corner, the one Mr. Rogers usually sat in, was missing. I frowned and looked around the room then found the chair next to the bed I was supposedly confined to. There was a very wilted rose resting in the seat and attached to it was a sticky note with a red star on it.

A red star... it was so familiar but so inexplicably confusing.

As was the fact that Mr. Rogers was constantly visiting me, though I suspected S.H.I.E.L.D. or Director Fury had ordered him to keep an eye on me.

But still, the red star... it was perplexing. The wilted red rose I had reason to believe came from the garden outside, as one of the nurses that doubled as a groundskeeper had been complaining about someone ruining the roses by picking one. Those roses had been dying for a while now.

But who was in my room, and why did they leave a red star on a sticky note?

As if I expected the answer to my question to be on the other side of the sticky note, I turned it over and stared at the scribbled message.

_I'm sorry_

Of course, that had to be the moment someone stepped into the room. I dropped the rose back into the chair and looked up at my grinning best friend.

"You will not believe this." Eli stated. "Mr. Rogers is-"

"Captain America. Yeah, I know. He's been here every day since I was admitted." I interrupted him. "I threw my phone at him and he blocked it. Which is how it broke."

"You threw your phone at Captain America?!" Eli shrieked. "And he  _blocked_ it?! That's nearly impossible!"

I laughed. "Yes, and yes, and I know. I was just as shocked as you are. If not more."

And as if on a cue, Mr. Rogers walked into the room.

"You blocked her phone when she threw it at you!" Eli exclaimed, turning towards him. I face-palmed.

"Ellie, we've been over this. Yes, he blocked my phone. That's how I broke it." I muttered. "And no, Mr. Rogers, you can't buy me a new phone because I won't accept it."

"Um... too late to say that." Eli laughed. I looked up.

"Is that a Stark-Phone? Did you seriously ask Tony Stark to replace my broken phone?" I asked. Mr. Rogers nodded. I jumped up and hugged him.

"Thank you!"

"I thought you said you weren't going to accept it." Eli said. I glared at him.

"I changed my mind when I saw the Stark-Phone." I responded. "It's a freaking Stark-Phone! Do you know how hard it is to get one of these?!"

"Yes. I've tried." Eli admitted. I laughed. "It's not funny! I legitimately tried to... and failed."

"Well duh." I said, pulling away from the now awkward hug. "You have to know Tony Stark to succeed in getting a Stark-Phone. And obviously, Mr. Rogers knows Tony Stark."

"Right because-" I lunged across the room and covered Eli's mouth.

"Do you not know when to shut up?" I asked. He shrugged and licked my hand, causing me to scream.

"Ew! What the he- helheim? Gross you gave me cooties." I shrieked, joking about the cooties. I wiped my hand on Eli's shirt. "What's wrong with you Ellie?"

"Y- you... did you just say he gave you cooties?" Mr. Rogers asked. I laughed.

"Yes. He gave me Eli-cooties." I replied. "Worse than germs but not as bad as an infectious disease."

The next words that came out of Mr. Rogers's mouth had me floored, almost literally.

"But isn't he your boyfriend?"


	5. Chapter 5

Eli and I both started freaking out.

"No! Ew, no offense Ellie but ew! No! He's my best friend!"

"Me? Date her? No offense to Alex, I mean she's beautiful and all but she isn't my type."

"Aw, you think I'm beautiful? I sheered off my hair with kitchen scissors."

"Yeah I was meaning to ask about that. It looks nice."

Our conversation was overlapping, probably confusing to anyone that didn't have good ears.

"Okay, no need to react so... shocked about that. Half the teachers at the high-school think you two are in a relationship." Mr. Rogers said. I laughed.

"I knew that. That's how I get away with hugging him in the hallways." I said. Eli stared at me.

"Really? And you didn't tell me? We could've- we could've-" He stammered. I shook my head.

"Don't even finish that sentence Ellie." I told him. "Hey, speaking of schools, when am I allowed to leave the hospital?" Instantly, everything went dead silent.

"Am I gonna be here for that long?" I complained. "I hope someone's gonna bring me my homework, I'd rather not fail out of any of my classes."

"Well, you see... your grades were good enough and you've attended school the required amount of days so you-"

"You graduated early." Eli intterupted Mr. Rogers. "You're officially the first graduate of our senior class." I stared at them both for a minute before I started cheering.

"Whoo! No more school!" I laughed.

"What about-"

"Not going to college. Unless you'd like to see me get a degree in some completely ridiculous subject and be in a lot of debt." I muttered, cutting Eli off. He frowned.

"Didn't you-" I shook my head, answering the unfinished question.

"No. I mean- yeah.... but they revoked it or whatever." I had a scholarship to go to this really awesome college, but after taking a second look at my school file they revoked it. Sad day...

Eli and I talked for what seemed like centuries but was only really a few hours, then he got kicked out [not literally] because I was finally allowed to go home today. But, I wouldn't be going home. I was going to SHIELD. However, on my own decision, I didn't go to SHIELD's headquarters like I was told to. Instead, I went to an apartment I had planned on renting a while ago.

The landlord was a pretty nice guy, he watched the news a lot so he already knew about my mom. He told me not to worry about rent right now. So after a couple more hours I had all of my stuff moved into a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I didn't have a TV, but I did have a radio. I never watched TV anyways, so I suppose it didn't matter.

I knew Mr. Rogers would be angry with me, but I couldn't just give up and let SHIELD take care of me. I was independent and I wasn't about to start letting others deal with my problems. Especially not SHIELD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need clever chapter names...


	6. Chapter 6

Months of living on my own had taken it's toll on me. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but at that moment I didn't care if it were either.

Exactly three months and four days after I moved into my apartment, I was woken up by someone, or something, in the living room. I hastily dug under my bed, trying to find anything I could use as a weapon. After a few minutes of searching I spotted a baseball bat near my closet, kept there for this very reason.

"Right..." I mumbled, starting at the bat, "I forgot I had that." I picked the bat up and walked out of my room. I slowly made my way to the living room, holding my breath so I was virtually undetectable. I stopped at the end of the hall, which honestly the hall wasn't that long anyways, so I wouldn't be seen.

Standing by an open window, which I swore I had closed before I went to bed, was the man with the metal arm. The Winter Solider. I screamed reflexively.

"ALEX!" He yelled over me, lunging forward. I swung the bat at him as hard as I could, but he caught it. A hand, I'm assuming his free hand, clamped over my mouth.

"God you scream loud." He said. I gave him a dark look and licked his hand. Almost instantly he pulled his hand back and wiped it on his pants.

"Why the hell are you in my apartment?" I hissed, yanking the bat free. I held it tightly, ready to hit him if I had to.

"The window was open and I needed a place to hide." He answered. "I didn't know it was yours."

The story seemed believable... and the back of my neck wasn't burning.

"Against my better judgement, I believe you." I stated, backing away a little. "Why did you need a place to hide?" He opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by someone banging on the door. All at once the back of my neck was burning intensely and the feared assassin had a look of pure terror on his face. I looked at the door then back at the soldier. He shook his head frantically, silently begging me not to open the door.

"Open the door." A voice growled. I started backing up then turned and ran to my room. I picked up my bag off the floor and shoved clothes into it.

"What are you doing?" The soldier asked me from the doorway. I jumped and whipped around.

"Packing. Whoever is at that door intends to hurt me." I stated. "Please get out so I can change into something other than pajamas." He raised his hands in the universal 'I surrender' motion and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. I quickly changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a t-shirt and put my combat boots on. Whoever was at the front door knocked louder. I opened my bedroom door.

"Come on, we're leaving through the window." I told the Winter Soldier. He nodded and followed me back into my room and out my window. I climbed down the fire escape silently and started walking.

"So. Who are you?" I asked him. "Who are you really?"

"Your killer." He answered flatly. I raised an eyebrow.

"Ki- right. I'm your target. Why were you sent to kill me? I didn't do anything wrong." I said. I was walking ahead of him so I couldn't see his face.

"You're a threat. You must be taken out." He responded. This made me stop.

"So why haven't you killed me?" I asked. "You don't even sound like you believe I'm a threat."

"I- You don't know what- what I've-" He stammered. "What I've had to-"

He was cut off by tires screeching. A car was coming towards us, and it wasn't slowing down.

t wasn't slowing down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of swearing in this chapter...

I stood, frozen in fear, as the car got closer. Something, someone, pulled me out of the way and when I looked to see who or what, I found myself face to chest with the assassin that should have killed me by now.

"Are you stupid? You don't just stand in the middle of the street when there's a car coming towards you!" He hissed. I blinked.

"I- I- what just- what?" I stuttered. The scene replayed in my mind. "I don't even- I can't- what the hell? Did I seriously just- just not even move? God I'm an idiot. What the fuck is wrong with me?" I held my head in my hands, wondering if I had a death wish. "Why did you pull me out of the way, I thought you wanted me dead."

The assassin shook his head. "I've changed my mind about that." He stated. I stared at him for a moment. Someone yelled something in a language I didn't understand and the Winter Soldier grabbed my arm and started pulling me. I had to run to keep up with him.

We ended up miles out of the city, in a different town.

"Can we stop running for the night? I'm tired." I yawned. I'd asked this more than once, each time the answer had been no. I hoped this time the answer would be yes.

The soldier looked back at me and nodded. "Yeah. There's a motel up ahead. We can stop there for the night."

I cheered quietly. "Yes! Sleep here I come." The assassin shook his head, laughing quietly.

"Did you get the flower?" He asked, seemingly out of nowhere. I raised an eyebrow.

"What flower?"

He didn't respond. We kept walking, stopping only when we got to the motel.

The lighting in the motel lobby was better than the lighting in my apartment, so I got my first actual glimpse of what he looked like when we walked into the motel.

The soldier looked like he'd been through hell and back.

"Oh god, what happened?" I asked, concern coloring my tone. I stepped closer to him and he took a step back, raising his hands.

"Nothing. I'm fine." He answered. I shook my head.

"You and I both know that's a lie." I said. "You look like you've been through hell." He shot me a dirty look before going to get a room key, then led me to the motel room.

I moved a chair away from the little table that was against one of the walls and made him sit down, then got a warm wash rag and started cleaning all of the dirt and what I suspected was dry blood off his face.

"Seriously though, what happened?" I asked him again. He winced when the wash rag passed over a cut on his cheek.

"I got into a fight." He answered evasively.

"With who? No normal, sane person would fight you. You're intimidating and probably bring a literal meaning to 'death glare'." I said. The soldier chuckled at the statement.

"My boss."

I whistled. "And your boss, he's the guy that ordered you to kill me?"

"Yes... and anyone that got in the way." The soldier said, sounding hesitant to answer. Something clicked.

"My mom." I murmured. He nodded.

"Why'd you cut your hair?" He asked, changing the subject.

"My mom liked my long hair. It reminded me of her. Memories like that are painful." I answered. "Why do you ask?" He didn't answer. "Okay. Are you hurt anywhere else?" I tried, changing the subject like he just did.

I knew he wouldn't want to answer, but the look I gave him must've worked to my advantage.

"My ribs are sore, I think they're bruised. Maybe one or two are broken. I think I cut my side." He answered the question. I made a face, my next statement/order was sure to sound weird.

"Alright, take your shirt off so I can see your ribs." I told him. He did so without giving me any weird looks. Immediately my attention was drawn to a fading, red star on his left shoulder. It reminded me of the note that was with the rose, in the hospital room all those months ago. I didn't say anything, deciding it would be awkward to bring that up right now, and turned my attention to his now bare torso.

"You were right about getting cut and the broken rib." I muttered, frowning. "How have you not passed out yet?"

He shrugged. "I've had worse than a broken rib and a cut on my side."

I flinched in sympathy and started working on cleaning the blood off his side and bandaging the cut.

What was probably hours later, I found myself staring at the ceiling. I heard sheets rustling and closed my eyes, feigning sleep.

Lips pressed against my forehead. "I'm so sorry. For everything." A quiet, familiar voice whispered. "I wish I could make it up to you."

The covers were pulled up, over me. The soldier tucked me in, like I was a child, and turned the lights off before returning to his bed.

"Goodnight, Alex." He whispered. I waited until I was sure he was asleep before responding.

"Goodnight."


	8. Chapter 8

My sleep was interrupted by someone shaking me, yelling for me to wake up.

"Alex, wake up. We need to leave." The Winter Soldier hissed. My eyes snapped open. He looked like he was panicking.

"Wha- what's going on?" I yawned.

"They found us."

The words were like ice water, they woke me instantly. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. We both cleaned up the room to the best of our ability then ran like hell.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Somewhere safe." He answered. I glared at him for a while, wishing he'd be more specific. "Glaring will achieve nothing." He stated, not even missing a beat. I groaned.

"Seriously? We're just gonna walk until we find somewhere you deem safe? And you expect me to have no issues with that?" I asked. He stopped walking and turned to face me. His expression sent a wave of fear to overload my thoughts and emotions.

"Yes."

"O-okay." I stuttered. A look of regret flickered across his face.

"Can I ask a question?" He asked, turning back around. He started walking again as he waited for me to answer.

"Yeah." I answered meekly, afraid to piss him off.

"Why Alex? Why not Alexa? Or Lexi?" He asked. I laughed.

"Because, if you haven't noticed, I'm anything but a girly girl. Yes, I freak out over somethings, but I refuse to wear skirts or dresses and I just generally don't act very ladylike." I answered. "Plus, my best friend started calling me Alex and it just kinda stuck. Can I ask you a question?" He nodded and I assumed that he meant I could. "What's your name? Like, your actual name, not your code name or whatever."

He paused for a brief moment then started walking again, taking ages to answer. "James." I stared at him and nodded even though he couldn't see me.

"Yeah, you look like a James." I mumbled. "Do you mind if I call you James? The Winter Soldier is kinda a mouthful." He snorted, laughing bitterly.

"Kid, if I had an issue with you calling me by my actual name I wouldn't have told you my name." He said. I grimaced.

"I'm not a kid. I'm eighteen, legally I'm an adult." I corrected him. James laughed again.

"You're still a kid to me."

"What? You're like, twenty five. How am I a kid to you?" I asked, my voice rising an octave or so. James shook his head.

"Just leave it, I don't want to explain." He said. I blew a raspberry, probably not helping my case.

"Fine. Be that way. Call me a kid again though, and you'll regret it." I threatened.

"It's that a threat, Sterling?" He asked, sounding amused.

"No, it's a promise, Soldier."

"Oh really? What are you going to do about it, kid?" James asked. I lunged at him, tackling him. James groaned and tried rolling onto his back.

"I don't break promises." I hissed quietly, keeping him pinned to the ground. I knew one of my hands was close to a pressure point, found on the neck, and I knew if I were to hit that pressure point it'd at least cause pain.

"Okay. Okay. Let me up." He said. I laughed.

"No way. Not until you admit I'm not a kid."

I could almost hear how irritated he was with me, but I didn't care. I was having fun. That is, until he managed to reverse our positions and had me pinned to the ground.

My eyes went wide with fear, my agraphobia kicking in and causing my breathing to become quick and shallow and my vision to become blurred.

I had sever agraphobia, or I guess you could say I had virginitiphobia- the fear of being raped. Let me clarify, agraphobia is the fear of sexual abuse. Which is something I was terrified of.

"Let me go." My voice was quiet and quavering, very different from my normally strong, stubborn attitude. "Right now. Let me go." I started to struggle, my vision blurring more and my breathing becoming quicker and shallower as my panic grew. "Please."

Almost immediately I was up on my feet again, a soothing hand placed on my shoulder. I curled in on myself, forcing my panic down, bottling it up.

"Alex?" James asked, his voice colored with concern. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" I let out a choked sob and fell forwards, only to be caught by the man I was beginning to trust.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "I'm sorry." He pulled me closer, hugging me, and rubbed my back.  
"Hey, hey, it's okay. Don't cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you that badly." James said softly, trying to calm me down. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. Please don't cry."

His words did little to console me, but for the sake of dignity I forced myself to stop crying and bottled the fear, the absolute panic I had felt, shoving it into the corners of my mind.

"Sorry." I sniffled. "That was a bit weird for me to react like that. I can't blame anything other than myself, my fears. Agraphobia." I stopped before stating the other fear.

After a short discussion we both agreed to just stop talking about it and move on. We walked until we were tired of walking, telling each other about ourselves to pass the time.

I told him my phobias, which is quite the list. He told me his full name, James Buchanan Barnes. I told him about the time I broke my arm. He told me about HYDRA, how they would wipe his memory and make him kill their enemies.

This made me think for a while. I was an enemy to HYDRA. I was on the run with their best asset-turned-biggest loss. I practically had a target painted in my chest.

A while later, once we had stopped for the night, I realized I was overcoming a fear in my list.

Philophobia. The fear of falling in love.


	9. Chapter 9

We'd been running for at least a month, James and I. We'd hopped trains, which made James uneasy, and hitchhiker, and walked, and ran from HYDRA for a little over a month. It seemed like it'd been longer, but I had been keeping track. For more reason than one.

One particular morning, I woke up to bloody sheets and a panicked Winter Soldier. Which triggered an awkward explanation that I wasn't hurt or bleeding to death, I was on my period.

Which complicated things, because when I'm on my period it's in everyone's best interest to just stay away. Unfortunately for James, he couldn't just leave me alone for an entire week because we were running from people that wanted to kill us. Well, kill me and wipe his memory again.

But the week had passed quickly and things went back to normal, for the most part. There was a small addition to what I was carrying in my bag and James had a newfound respect for women because he had to out up with a bitchy, emotional, slightly hormonal woman for an entire week.

We'd each learned things about each other, NAND let me tell you, learning new things about him was interesting.

I had learned he was the James Buchanan Barnes, from the 107th and the Howling Commandos, aka Captain America's best friend till the end of the line. He survived the fall from the train, minus a limb, and became a brainwashed assassin that was kept in cryostasis when not on a mission for the very people he had been fighting. I also learned that when spending virtually every minute of ever day with someone you have slight feelings for, those feelings grew... and became harder to ignore.

Up to a certain point, I had been doing pretty damn well. But after a while, every time he got closer to me I would start blushing. He passed it off to my personal space issues, which were pretty quirky if I'm being honest, but I had been doing good at ignoring my feelings.

That is, until we found ourselves in a motel room in a remote town in the middle of nowhere.

"Get some sleep kid." James said. I glared darkly at him.

"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not a kid!" I seethed. James looked ticked.

"You've done a great job proving your point." He said sarcastically. I stepped closer to him, not even sure of my actions.

"Let me have one more chance to prove my point." I said quietly. James watched me as I took another step closer and stood on my tiptoes.

We were so close, I could feel his breath on my face. I leaned in closer, my eyes closing on their own accord.

Just barely, our lips touched for a brief moment before I stepped back and turned away from him. Honestly, it probably didn't even count as a kiss. But my control had slipped and I gave in to temptation, which made me mad at myself. I had to be stronger, I had to be better, I couldn't let myself give in or break. The words had been drilled into my mind at a young age, by my own mother, and had stuck with me my entire life. I was always pushing myself to be better, to be stronger.

James caught my shoulder and pulled me back, forcing me to turn and face him. I had no chance of asking any questions before his lips were on mine and my eyes are tightly shut.

His hands gripped at my waist, holding me close, and my hands were tangled in his hair.

Don't get me wrong, I'd kissed someone before. I'd kissed a lot of someone's actually. Hell, I'd kissed Eli before as a dare. But this kiss, was unlike any kiss I've ever had.

It left me feeling warm and fuzzy and slightly drunk. My heart was pounding and my breathing was ragged. He had kissed me, and he kissed me like he meant it.

"You're right. You're not a kid." James murmured, brushing a few rogue stands of hair out of my face. My hair was nearing the bottom of my ears, which looked awkward but James told me he liked my long hair and I subconsciously decided to grow it out again. The touch sent my remaining coherent thoughts out the window, leaving my brain fuzzy and muddled. "You've got no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you..."

I smirked lazily. "I think I've got an idea." I mumbled, carefully untangling my fingers from his hair.

And life was good, for a while. James and I had been a bit more affectionate towards each other for a while, until we ended up getting into a fight that ended with me saying quite a few things I didn't mean.

"Why are you stubborn?" He had yelled. We were arguing over whether or not we should stop running, at least for a short while so I could get my bearings and figure out where we were.

"I get it from my mom." I snapped. "You know, the woman you killed to get to me." The instant the words left my mouth, I wanted to take them back. And I tried, god knows I tried. "No! No, I didn't mean that. I take it back."

James looked hurt, worse he looked betrayed. I promised not to hold that against him. I broke a promise. "You- you liar." He stammered. "You said you don't break promises. You lied."

"James, no I take it back. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." I cried, trying my hardest to take back words that had no place in leaving my mouth.

"You can't take it back. You already said it." He said bitterly. "Maybe you should leave." I took a step back and gave in, wishing I had learned the valuable skill of shutting the hell up. I picked my bag up off the floor and turned sharply, walking away. Leaving my past behind, leaving the man I secretly wanted to be my future behind.

And I wouldn't see him for the next few days. Or even the next week. But when I did see him again, I knew things would never be the same.


	10. Chapter 10

The next time I saw James, I was disguised as a man. My chest was bound and my hair was shaggy, I had perfected a certain gait that made me pass as a man.

James was at a park, on a bench. I country help but sit next to him and ask what was troubling him. He told me the whole story, starting with him getting the order to kill me and ending with our fight.

"I'm in love with a girl I shouldn't love." He stated plainly. I frowned.

"Why shouldn't you love her?" I prompted. James looked at me warily before sighing.

"To love her- it'd be selfish of me. I've caused her so much pain and loss that loving her is completely, utterly selfish of me." He told me. "Her name was Alex. She had brown hair and grey eyes. God I love her eyes, they were like a stormy sky. Never just one shade of grey, but many shades that twine together and leave you breathless."

"What if she loves you back?" I asked, hesitant and carefully of my words. James looked at me in shock.

"How could she love me? I'm a monster." He frowned. I shook my head.

"She loves you back."

"How do you know that?" James questioned.

"I- she- she told me..." I lied easily. It was easier for me to reassure him as a stranger. And with that, I got up and left. He chased me, yelling my name. I ran until I thought I had lost him then slowed. I walked for a while, never noticing he was following me, not until I blindly crossed the street and narrowly escaped death- but was still injured greatly.

You'd think after the first close call, I'd learn to look for cars.

~

The sound of steady breathing filled my ears, as did an annoying beeping noise. I blinked a couple times, trying to focus on something. Anything.

I'm in a hospital room, hooked up to a heartbeat monitor- aren't those called EKG's? There's someone in the corner. That someone is a man. He's wearing a hooded sweatshirt, the sleeves are pulled down over his hands.

He's awake, but blankly staring at the wall. He seems familiar.

I let my attention wander, finding myself staring at my wrist- at the wristband on my wrist. Written on it in messy script is the name Alexandra Sterling.

Is that me? Am I Alexandra Sterling?

"Is she awake yet?" A voice asks. I look up at the doorway.

"I don't know." The man replies. I frown.

"Hello." I say quietly.

"Alex!" The man says, jumping up. "You're alive."

Yeah, no thanks to you

Where the thought came from, I've no idea- but it scared me. Some part of my brain recognized it as being a lie.

I stared at the man for a while, trying to work out why he seemed familiar. A name came to mind, James.

The more I stared, the more I would recall. Yes, his name was James. His sleeves were pulled over his hands to hide his metal arm. It wasn't his fault I got hit by a car, it was my own, because I didn't look before I crossed the street.

"How badly am I hurt?" I asked.

Three broken ribs, a nearly punctured lung, I was bleeding internally at one point but they figured out why and fixed it, and I couldn't walk straight to save my life.

-

It took a month and a half and extensive practice, but I after a while I could walk straight. My ribs healed quickly. I was fine.

But I didn't feel fine.

I just wanted James to forgive me, I wanted him to kiss me again like he did that day, all those months ago. I had fully come to terms with the fact that I fell hard for the man that killed my mom, and I had no regrets about it.

I had to work up the courage, but eventually I'd had enough and kissed James. He kissed back, which made me unbelievably happy.

And things seemed normal for once. We had made our way back to New York, rented a cozy apartment together,a and lived without worrying about HYDRA for a few months.

But our world, like always, came crashing down.


	11. Chapter 11

HYDRA found us again. It had been months, but they did, mind James and I were prepared. We had a few others on our side. Those others being Captain America and Eli.

They came during the day, when we were just getting back from an afternoon movie date. Cliche, I know, but it was a great movie.

The first thing that should have given us a warning was the back of my neck had been burning all day. I had passed it off as nothing though, and that would be my first of three mistakes.

When we arrived home, German voices uttered commands I couldn't understand. The commands were repeated in Russian, and again in English.

"Winter Soldier, you have failed your mission. Return to headquarters and leave the girl for us."

James refused. He told me he would never leave me, not unless I wanted him to. That was his first mistake.

It seemed HYDRA would play a game with us, we were each allowed three mistakes. If we made four, we died, and each of us had used one.

So we fought. We fought like hell.

I lunged at the nearest agent, taking them down easily. The next wouldn't go down as quickly, he was stronger and faster.

He swung a fist at me, connecting a hit to my jaw. I took three more hits, to the stomach, nose, and jaw again. He took five hits, two to the nose, one to the groin, one to the stomach, and one to the jaw. Then he pulled a knife and slashed at me.

That was my second mistake, getting cut with the knife.

To my knowledge, HYDRA hadn't ever stooped as low as to poisoning their knifes, but this one was laced with a drug that caused pure pain. And god did that knife hurt.

James ended up taking that agent down as I faced a different opponent.

It appeared as if we were evenly matched, but HYDRA had the upper hand. We were alone at this point and neither of us were willing to take the risk of calling for help. And, by some miracle, we didn't have to call for help. Captain Rogers had planned on dropping off a book he borrowed from me, and I thank sanity he had because James and I had taken quite the beating and Were running out of time.

James made his second mistake when we thought the fight had ceased for a moment, he kissed me for a brief moment. But the moment was long enough for him to take a bullet to the shoulder.

Seeing him hurt made me go into some blind rage that honestly scared me a bit. I forced the agents down, content with using my powers to flatten them against the pavement, but Captain Rogers stopped me. That would make up for my second mistake.

So there we stood, three against a small army of psychotic idiots that knew no better than to follow their leader.


	12. Chapter 12

With little time to catch our breath, the fight started up again.

James had made it a routine of taking down agents; he'd hit them once, twice, three times, then possibly get hit, then he would knock them unconscious or kill the,. Whichever was more convenient at the moment. The agents intending on harming me were killed effortlessly, which disturbed me but I had to roll with it because I knew that it was kill or be killed at this point in time.

Captain Rogers tried his hardest not to kill anyone, but he did them enough harm so they wouldn't be attacking us any time soon. He left the iconic shield alone, opting for hand to hand combat.

I didn't pay attention to if I killed the agents or not, I would push them down with my powers until they were unconscious or dead.

We all took quite a few hits, a knife to the side once or twice, and perhaps even a bullet to an appendage but we kept running on pure adrenalin.

I made a third mistake, which they counted as my second, when I failed to pay attention to my surroundings.

I had seen the man that was James's boss. And I wanted revenge.

I approached him quietly, hoping to catch him by surprise. But nothing got past the man. He had drawn his knife before I could draw mine.

Our fight had been lengthy. Neither of us really injured the other that much, but during the time we fought James had made his third mistake.

And his fourth.

The loud, sharp noise of a gun being fired echoes through my ears, followed by the sound of James's pained yell. I dropped my knife, what they counted as my third mistake, and ran to him.

The wound was fatal, everyone knew it was, but I couldn't help but try to stop the bleeding.

"Alex." James wheezed, clutching his chest. I pressed my already bloodstained t-shirt over the bleeding wound. My discarding of my first layer shirt left me in a tank top that was oddly fitting for the moment, colored black.

"Don't close your eyes." I told him. "Just focus on me."

I knew the attempt would prove to be useless. I knew it wouldn't do shit. He was shot, nearly point blank range, in the chest. Nobody could survive that.

"Alex, don't leave me." James pleaded. I pressed a brief, fleeting kiss against his lips.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. I'll be right here the entire time." I promised. "I promise." James smiles at the words.

"And you don't break promised." He said. I nodded.

"That's right. I don't break promises." Which was why I hadn't promised he'd be okay, because I couldn't keep that promise.

"Alex, I love you." James told me, gripping my hands. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of my eyes and build up, threatening to spill over.

"Don't." I said. "Don't say it like that. Don't any it like you're leaving." James frowned.

"I love you." He told me again. It sounded like a goodbye, and I didn't want to say goodbye,

"I love you too." I whispered brokenly. James started coughing, expelling the blood that I assumed had been filling his lungs.

"Don't leave." He requested again. The tears spilled over and I was a mess off sobs.

"I won't leave. I promise. Don't leave me, James. Please don't leave me." I begged.

"I'm scared." The statement rang true for both of us. He was scared of dying and I was scared of losing him. I leaned closer and kissed him, for what I knew would be the last time. I could taste the blood on his lips and it killed me to know it was my fault.

If I had let him take me that day, the day I was walking home and he attacked, he wouldn't be dying.

"I love you." James whispered against my lips.

And that was it. That was the last thing he told me. I knew that was he last thing he would ever say.

-

But sometimes, the things you know turn out to be wrong.


	13. Epilogue

The slow, steady beeping of the heart monitor fills my ears when I wake up. I glance up at the visual representation of a heartbeat and smile faintly. The fight hadn't been lost yet.

I turn my attention to the man in the bed beside my chair. His dark hair had fallen into his face, which gave him a slightly childish look. His eyelids are closed, he's still sleeping, but hidden behind those eyelids are the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. I toy with the wrist band on the man's right wrist.

James Buchanan Barnes

My James. He's still alive.

The shot hadn't been fatal, not like everyone thought it had been. And SHIELD agents had arrived just in time.

James is in a hospital bed at SHIELD and I am in the chair next to the bed, waiting for him to wake up. Its been three days since the fight, but it feels like it had been three years.

I've only left James's bedside to shower and eat, I occupy my time waiting for him to wake up by reading to him. Its a stupid notion, yes, but it helps me. I can't just sit and do nothing.

Captain Rogers had made the comment that in the months since he'd last seen me, I'd grown from a slightly reckless eighteen year old to someone who was wise beyond her years. I told him he was full of crap, he laughed.

As it turned out, Eli had been out of the country during the fight. He ended up going to university in England, on scholarship at some really fancy college.

SHIELD was pissed I ended up running off on my own, but after I explained why they decided not to punish me too horribly. I have to live here, Director Fury's orders. James will have to live here to once he woke up.

I killed his former boss that day. I didn't regret it. I don't think I ever will.

The quiet difference in James's breathing draws my attention back to him.

"James?" I ask hopefully. Slowly, his eyes flutter open.

"Hey." He says weakly. I smile widely.

"Hey sleepy head. How're you feeling?" I ask, ruffling his hair.

"Better. A lot better. And hungry." He laughs. I laugh with him. "You didn't leave?"

"Not really. I had to shower and eat, and get myself patched up. But I've been here every moment possible." I admit. "I did my best to keep my promise." James smiles at me.

"That's good enough for me."

I catch myself staring at the former assassin. I was his target, yes, but know I think I'm more to him.

"I'm so glad you're okay." I murmur.

"I couldn't leave my girlfriend. I just wouldn't be able to bear being away from you for that long of a time." James teases me. I smile.

Things will go back to normal, hopefully. James and I will live at SHIELD. Perhaps we'll get married, maybe we'll have kids.

But for now, I'm ecstatic to be his girlfriend. And I'm absolutely, inexplicably in love with the man that had been sent to kill me. I was an assassin's target, but I wouldn't change it or give it up for anything.


	14. About the Author/Acknowledgments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is unnecessary, you can skip it if you want

I want to thank all of you for reading this story. I wanna thank Marvel for having awesome movies and characters that inspire fan fictions. I want to thank all of hither Marvel actors, there's too many to list, for being freaking awesome in the movies. I also wanna thank my family because they had to out up with a fifteen year old spazzing about over reads on a story they had no idea she was writing, my brother took the brunt of it and he was such a good sport. I want to thank my friend for not killing me for killing off Alex's mom. She called me and ranted and honestly, I deserved it. I also want to thank the creators of Wattpad because without them I wouldn't even be able to write the story, because Wattpad wouldn't exist. I want to thank all my Strangers [my fans on Watty... and here if I ever have any] because without you I'd have no motivation.

So thank you. All of you. Because without any of you, I wouldn't have finished the book.

I also wanna thank anyone who reads my other books because you have to wait for updates that are usually pretty bad. I'm working on my other stories, I swear.

\----

**About the Author**

I am a 16 year old female of the human race. I'm a fangirl, a sister a friend, a daughter, and at one point in time I was a girlfriend. I love writing and reading, and drawing and making character edits.

I also love to role play, over inbox or on rp books that are scattered across the Watty-verse.

I suppose I should rewind and tell you my name. My pen name that is, because I'm not allowed to tell you my real name, SHIELD's orders. My pen name is Pixie Marie Landon. My real-life middle name actually is Marie so if you wanna call me that you can. You can also call me Captain, because a few of my real life friends do.

This book was written over the course of three or more moves and broken hearts and long illnesses, but it was worth it. I really loved writing this book, I really loved reading comments and waking up to votes on new chapters and everything about writing the story, I loved it.

I haven't had the best life. Yes, I have a mom and brother that care about me, yes I have a dad that cares (at least he does now). But it wasn't always like that. My dad used to be pretty mean, which is why my mom divorced him. I used to cry myself to sleep and self harm and honestly I can't believe I'm alive today. But I am, and I'm glad. Writing was and is my escape. That's how this story started, that's how all my other stories started.

I needed an escape.

And who knows, maybe I'll finish my other books. Maybe I won't, I guess it's all up to the wicked mistress we call fate. But whatever the future holds, I'm ready for it. Because I've got a pencil and a notebook, and I'm ready to take on the world. One page at a time.

Stay Strange~


End file.
